It had been nearly four decades since Michael served as acombat soldier in Vietnam, but he bore psychological wounds that felt as raw asthey did when he first returned home. And they showed no sign of healing. Hewas perpetually fearful of open spaces and couldn’t recall the last time he’dslept through the night, tormented as he was by terrors that awoke him at oddintervals, compelling him to uncomfortably wedge himself under his bed for somesense of security. But then he visited Serenity Stables, and somethingfundamental began to change.

Founded in 2015 by Monmouth University alumna René Stone,Serenity Stables, From Combat to Calm, is a nonprofit farm in AtlanticHighlands, New Jersey, that provides what’s known as equine-assisted therapy toU.S. veterans returning from deployment with a broad range of physical,psychological, and emotional disabilities. It’s part of a growing trend acrossthe country aimed at using the unique temperament and intuition of domesticatedhorses to help veterans work through myriad developmental and physicaldisabilities, including the severe mental health challenges that stem frompost-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

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“I grew up around military men, and I know that when these men are traumatized, they won’t sit on a couch and talk to someone about how they feel. And here’s the thing about PTSD—when you have PTSD you don’t feel anything,” says Stone, a mortgage loan originator by trade who has more than two decades of experience owning and caring for horses. “There’s a change that happens to you on a biological level when you’re traumatized. You’re frozen. It’s not that you don’t want to cry, it’s that you don’t know where crying is. What the horses do is evoke emotion. They unlock the frozen part of you. And no matter how hard you try to stay frozen, you are going to melt when you’re around them.”

And that’s precisely what happened with Michael. As part ofa larger group of Vietnam vets visiting the farm one morning in 2017, Stoneasked Michael to walk into the field and spend some time with her stable of sixhorses. Not to ride them or walk them or groom them—just to spend time with theherd. And as he found himself standing there amongst the animals, theirunavoidable evocation of presence and immediacy helped Michael begin healing inways that were as surprising as they were instantaneous.

“He came back from the field and said to me, ‘I can’tbelieve this, but that’s the first time in decades that I’ve been out in anopen space when I wasn’t thinking about being ambushed,’” recalls Stone. “Aboutfour days later I got a call from Michael’s therapist and he told me thatMichael woke up in his bed after sleeping through the night for the first timein as long as he could recall. And that was after just one session with thehorses! This was very early on in our journey, and that’s when I realized wehave a very powerful way to heal these men.”

And Stone knows better than most just how profound a role horses can play in processing and healing the scars of trauma. After all, it was a horse that saved Stone from her own psychological turmoil many years ago.

***

Stone’s love of horses stretches back to her childhood growingup in Keyport, New Jersey, when her boyfriend’s sister brought Stone to visither stable in Holmdel. Stone’s affection for horses was immediate, not only becauseof the animals’ aesthetic beauty, but also because of their distinctive anddisarming disposition.

“When you’re around horses you realize right away that they are very present. It’s not like being with a dog. Dogs really just want to please you. And they’re predatory by nature. But horses are prey animals, and that means they are consistently reading and sensing their environment,” says Stone, who graduated from Monmouth in 1992 at the age of 29 with a degree in communications. “That’s how they’ve survived for millions of years. And when you’re with a horse they bring you right into the present moment as well. You need to stay present or you’re going to get hurt. And that’s a real gift, because most of us aren’t in the present. We’re thinking about yesterday or worrying about tomorrow.”

To be sure, Stone had plenty to worry about during her formativeyears, which were both financially strained and emotionally tumultuous. WhenStone was just 13, her father—a former Merchant Marine who suffered fromPTSD—attempted to take his own life at home one afternoon. In a panic, Stone’smother called the police, who entered the house and eventually wound up shootingStone’s father through Stone’s bedroom door, leaving him paralyzed from thewaist down.

“I spent the next several years in and out of VA (Veterans Affairs)hospitals trying to get care for my father, who eventually needed to have hislegs amputated,” recalls Stone, whose mother died of lung cancer four yearsafter the shooting. “I spent a lot of time with the men at those hospitals, andit was just a god-awful site. Men suffering or dying on gurneys. Rats in thehallways. Just wretched. I would sometimes play piano for them and sing songs,and I promised myself that one day I would do something to help them.”

Stone also vowed to buy her own horse once she’d graduated fromcollege, a dream that was financially out of the question during her youth. Andso, shortly after graduating from Monmouth, she leased her first “crazythoroughbred” and then bought her own horse in 1997, a roan thoroughbred namedTristan who is currently 30 years old.

“I think the real reason I always wanted my own horse is that I just love the experience,” she says. “There’s something very spiritual about the connection you have with them. There’s no other feeling like it in the world.”

And this, says Stone, is what makes these animals so ideally therapeutic for victims of trauma. Not only are they mystifyingly captivating, but they also reflect one’s internal state of mind at all times.

“They can hear your heart beat from four feet away. They can sense a tiger from a quarter mile away and they can tell whether or not that tiger is hungry,” says Stone. “So if you’re afraid or timid or at peace, the horse will mirror and reflect that emotion. That’s how they’ve survived. They’re always reacting.”

Before Stone could merge her passion for horses with her internal promise to help U.S. vets, she first had to endure even more personal tragedy of her own. In 1997, her horse kicked her in the head, fracturing her skull and causing a traumatic brain injury from which she took more than a year to fully recover. Shortly thereafter, Stone was involved in a car accident that resulted in the death of a young boy—and that, she says, was when she first began to realize that she too was suffering from PTSD.

“And the only place I could go to feel any degree of peace wasat the barn with Tristan,” says Stone. “That’s when I first made the connection.Tristan saved my life. And he was a very good therapist.”

Equine therapy was barely in its infancy at the time, but in2012 Stone purchased 25 acres of land in Virginia, where she figured she wouldstart her own program 10 or 15 years down the road, assuming she’d wait untilshe retired from the mortgage business. But fate, she says, had other plans.

Three years after purchasing the Virginia property, Stonelearned that a 15-acre farm two miles from her house was up for lease, so shedecided to take a look. The evening after she visited the property, Stone saysshe woke up in the middle of the night with an unshakable conviction that sheshould begin her equine therapy journey much sooner than expected. So sheleased the land in early 2015, got her necessary certifications, and by thespring of that year Serenity Stables began treating its first veterans—and ithas served more than 1,000 individuals since.

“When I sit back and think about it, I’m struck by how we should all listen to the voice inside of us that pushes us toward our destinations,” says Stone. “This project was the first time I actually did that. And it’s been amazing.”

***

It’s important to understand that equine-assisted therapy is notabout riding horses or conversing with a human therapist in the traditionalsense. Instead it’s about allowing veterans to interact with the horses in myriadways, giving them time to react on those interactions, and then using those reactionsto open pathways to healing.

“Talk therapy is when I ask a question and the client respondsin order to process their feelings. But with equine therapy, it’s about arelationship between the client and the horse, which I help facilitate,” saysBrooke Lichter ’14, ’16M, a licensed social worker who earned her bachelor’sand master’s degrees in social work from Monmouth. Lichter—who is certifiedthrough the Professional Association of Therapeutic Horsemanship Internationalas an equine specialist in mental health and learning—was instrumental inhelping Stone create Serenity Stables and now serves as the program’s mentalhealth specialist.

“It’s really the horses who are the therapists,” says Lichter,adding that she and Stone follow therapeutic guidelines established by theEquine Assisted Growth and Learning Association (Eagala) through which they areboth certified. “The client will tell me their goals and I, as the mentalhealth professional, try to facilitate exercises that will help. It’s my job tohelp them work things out with the horse and then come to their ownconclusions. I don’t give solutions or advice, because it’s all about learningfrom the horse.”

According to Stone, the Eagala model asks therapists to watch for four different signifiers: shifts, patterns, uniqueness, or discrepancies.

“Let’s say I send a veteran to go introduce himself to the herd.As he approaches, I notice all the horses stop and don’t move. Then suddenlyone of the horses walks around in a circle. That’s a shift and a pattern,” saysStone. “Then the circling horse paws on the ground over and over again. That’sanother pattern. So I might pull the client back and say, ‘Hey, notice how thathorse is pawing the ground?’ And he’ll say, ‘I was digging for a bomb. And itexploded.’ Now he’s crying for the first time in 10 years, and only then can hebegin to process what he’s feeling.”

Currently, most visits take place on Wednesdays, when a group ofvets begins with lunch at a nearby restaurant hosted by Mark Otto, executivedirector of the United War Veterans Council. After lunch the vets come to thefarm, where they’re encouraged to walk around and meet the horses. Stone andLichter ask them which horse they feel connected to, and the women willinstruct them on how to groom the animal of their choice. After that Stoneeither teaches them how to lead a horse or she might let the horses loose inthe field to let clients simply observe the animals’ behavior. The session thenbecomes slightly more concentrated when Stone and Lichter ask the vets to eachbuild an obstacle course using myriad objects—cones, jugs, buckets, wood—eachone representing something they’re struggling with, something they’re currentlybothered by, or something they may even be happy about.

“Then we ask them to try and lead a horse through the obstacles and tell the horse anything they want to get off their chest, because horses are very good listeners,” says Stone. “So let’s say they build a structure that represents fear or apprehension and the horse stops and won’t go through it. I might then ask them to write down a word that represents what’s bothering them. But we never ask the vets how they’re feeling. That’s not what they want to talk about, because they don’t know how they’re feeling. It’s always related back to the horse, so we only ask questions surrounding the horse and its behavior. The horses become the metaphor for what is going on with them subconsciously.”

Time and time again, Stone says she is surprised by theextremely nuanced and insightful reactions these vets bring to the process. Forinstance, Stone was working with a group last summer and she was bothered byhow much grass had grown in the horses’ ring. It was irritating, she says,because the horses just wanted to eat the grass, making it extremely difficultfor the men to lead the animals through their obstacle courses.

“When we finished the session I asked one of the guys, ‘What didyou think?’ And he said, ‘Ya know, I looked at all the grass, and I realizedthe grass is like our addictions. The horses needed to focus, but all theywanted was grass all the time.’ That just blew me away,” says Stone. “That hadnothing to do with me. It’s all about the horses. The horses will always showyou what you need to see.”

On a typical week Stone says she sees between five and 10veterans at Serenity Stables, the vast majority of whom are post-9/11 combatsoldiers in their 30s who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. And even though Stonehas established long-term relationships with various VA hospitals in theregion, one of the most significant challenges is actually getting veterans tocome out to the farm in the first place.

“When they get back from active duty these vets are injured and in mental collapse,” says Stone. “They’ve experienced consistent trauma, and then they return home and they’ve lost their unit. Their herd. They were injured in their herd, and they need to be healed in a herd. And that’s part of what we provide, so long as they’re willing to participate.”

To be sure, Stone’s experience with Serenity Stables has not only changed the lives of hundreds of U.S. vets, but it’s also changed her in ways she couldn’t have imagined before she started this program nearly five years ago. “This whole experience has really humbled me greatly, and it’s made me a much more patient and calmer person. If you just quiet your mind and body, you can probably recover from anything. I didn’t used to think that way,” says Stone. “And I see it all the time with these men. I remember one time a vet said to me, ‘Every time I come here, something bad falls off me.’ That right there is more of an accomplishment than any of the mortgage accounts I’ve closed or awards that I’ve won. I will never forget it as long as I live.”

Forget weaving your way through a crowded noisy club to talk to a cute girl… just sit back in your pants, put your feet up and get swiping. Here are the best apps to get laid in 2020.

So what are the best adult dating apps and how quickly can you get laid?

That’s the real question we all want to know.

We’ve all been there… it’s Friday night, you have no plans and you really just want to stay in with a pizza and a beer, whilst you fall asleep with Breaking Bad playing on Netflix.

BUT… you also want to get laid. Ugh, decisions decisions.

Banging that overused Fleshlight to your favourite pornstar on PornHub just isn’t cutting it anymore. You need that REAL booty son!

No worries.

Let me introduce you to “half night stands”

Oh yes, gone are the days of trawling through a bar at 2am, drunk, hoping that you can still spit good enough game to have a girl come back to yours for sex.

All you need to do now is fire up a hookup app, upload some mugshots, wait a few minutes and BOOM… girls… lots of girls, all wanting the same thing as you. Quick sex.

Now you might be thinking “But adult dating apps are full of creepers and weirdos”.

Meh… WRONG!

If you know how to use them properly, they are full of opportunities young man.

Ok, enough with the waffle. Let’s get onto the good stuff.

The best apps to get laid in 2020

Some are free, some are paid. All are geared towards getting you laid. Yes I rhymed that on purpose. Enjoy!

NOTE: Apps are great, but adult dating sites are better. You should check out this list of the top adult dating sites if you’re serious about getting laid, without having to scroll through hundreds of basic bitches ;)

1. Tinder

The most popular local hookup app by far.

Price: Free (membership available at $14.99 per month)

Undoubtedly the most popular casual dating apps out there today, Tinder is the perfect place to find a quick hookup. While it’s creators probably intended the app to be used for connecting people for dates, its casual nature has made it a go-to destination for sex.

You simply swipe right on the profile of a woman you like and swipe left on those you don’t. If the woman also swipes right on your profile, you get connected.

Why It’s Awesome

The number of members currently on Tinder really increases your chances of finding someone to hook up with. So many people use the app for casual dating that you’re bound to find someone quickly. All it takes is a quick swipe, an exchange of information, and you’ll be meeting up in no time.

Some Downsides

The biggest advantage of using the app is also its biggest downfall. Because so many people use it, you’re bound to come across someone you know. While that might not be a huge issue for some, it can lead to some awkward situations. Of course, you can always swipe left and pretend that you never saw them.

Or improve your Tinder game (if you want to get better).

2. Pure

Price: Free (membership available at $8.99 per month)

Pure is one of the top hookup apps because it forgoes the standard formalities and cuts right to the chase. This app is all about casual sex and anonymity.

You simply upload your picture, fill out a profile, and find a match. There’s a one-hour chat limit, so you’d better make a quick connection. After that, your profile and picture are deleted.

Why It’s Awesome

Quick anonymous sex. Is there anything else to say? There’s no worry about someone finding your profile because it’s deleted after an hour. You find what you’re looking for and you’re done, all in private.

Some Downsides

Because the process is so quick, you may find some issues going through potential dates. The app is all about speed and finding someone now, so you have to go through the candidates fast. Not only that the user base can sometimes be flaky in areas that are not busy. So if you live in a part of town that is lacking in people or a small city, then forget it.

3. Blendr

Cool app with some great features.

Price: Free (in-app purchases at $2.99 each)

If you want to find someone to hook up with near you, Blendr is the way to go. It uses your GPS location to find people in the general vicinity.

You can find someone in the same street or building and start chatting them up. It’s much quicker than talking to every girl at a bar. With the app, you can see the girls that are looking for the same thing you are.

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Why It’s Awesome

Blendr is like a moving social network. Everywhere you go, you’re met with a different group of women. Your location updates frequently. You can even search the app while you’re in a cab just to see who’s around.

Some Downsides

While it was intentionally created for hookups, many people also use it as a dating app. You may find yourself talking to someone looking for a committed relationship rather than a casual date.

4. OKCupid

Price: Free (in-app purchases at $0.79 each minimum)

OKCupid is one of the most popular dating and hookup websites. They also have an app that connects people very quickly. While it is used as a serious dating site, there are ways to connect with people looking for the same thing.

The app will show you who you’ve connected with and how many of them are near you.

Why It’s Awesome

If you are blunt about what you’re looking for, you can find someone to hook up with fairly easily. The app has a questionnaire where you can express your motives up front. It even allows you to filter potential matches looking for casual sex only.

Some Downsides

Because it operates as a standard dating site, you have to be wary of who you’re talking to. You may match with someone who’s looking for something a bit more serious. This is why it’s important to be upfront on your profile and questionnaire from the get go.

5. Tingle

Not great, but worth a try in a busy city.

Price: Free

Tingle is one of the best free hookup apps for guys and gals serious about sex. It uses GPS to find people around you, but that GPS is cloaked until you’re ready to give some information.

You can see who wants to hook up near you and give them a “wink.” If they reciprocate that wink, you can view their profile. The great thing about the app is that many members use tantalising pictures on their profile.

Why It’s Awesome

There’s nothing subtle about this app. It’s all about sex, and that’s pretty evident from the naked profile pictures. Another great thing is its security and privacy. Everything is done in-app and can be performed anonymously until real information is shared.

Some Downsides

Unfortunately, Tingle isn’t as popular as other alternatives. It’s pretty active in bigger cities. However, you may be pressed to find a lot of potential hookups if you’re in a smaller town.

6. Down

Price: Free

Ever want to see who’s down to hook up on Facebook? Down goes through your friend list as well as their friends and allows you to let people know you want to hook up. It can be done anonymously. If they want to hookup, you’ll get a notification. If not, no worries. They’ll never know who offered.

Why It’s Awesome

Who hasn’t browsed Facebook and thought about hooking up? It’s one of the best hookup apps because it goes through people you know are real. They’re not complete strangers, but people you may know well or at the very least ran into at some point or another. It’s a nice and easy to use app though, as soon as they user base increases, this will be a contender for sure.

Some Downsides

The app goes through your entire list of friends, so you may come across people you didn’t even want to think of hooking up with. While not major, it can be uncomfortable to see old friends pop up and even more disappointing if they match you!

7. Whiplr

Like your fetishes and kinks? You’ll love this then.

Price: Free or Subscription

Let your inner freak show with Whiplr. It’s all about finding people who have the same kinks as you do. Upon download, you answer a questionnaire about what turns you on.

You’re then matched with people that have the same fetishes as you. You can chat and send pics all in the privacy of the app. You can even take away a pic from their phone if you change your mind.

Why It’s Awesome

It’s never been easier to find someone to share your fetishes with. There’s no need for uncomfortable conversations or weeding through potential hookups. With Whiplr, you get deep into the nitty-gritty from the very beginning. Just find a match, meet up, and have all the fun you’ve always wanted with someone who shares the same interests.

Some Downsides

While the app is technically free, use of the service is limited unless you purchase a subscription. It’s certainly usable in the free version, but the paid alternative provides much more options.

5 proven tips to get more matches

The reason that some guys find it difficult actually getting any decent matches on these apps is because they’re playing the game all wrong.

Here are some quick tips that have been proven to help you become a casual dating pro and get more matches…

1. Get some professional photos

Not all of your photos need to be professional, but at least 3 do. The reason is because you need to show you at your very best. Pro photographers can help you do that. So hire one for an hour, get a few different outfits and get a bunch of photos of you laughing, looking away from the camera, doing sports etc.

2. Use hacks

You should be experimenting with different hacks, like posing with your dog or a cute animal (every girl loves animals dude, c’mon) applying filters to your photos, using Photoshop to experiment with graphics like “Tinder’s hot guy of the day”.

3. Don’t use grainy photos

Old grainy photos are an immediate turnoff, they show that you don’t care. Even if you’re using a photo from 5 years ago that you consider to be your best photo, throw it away, it’s no longer relevant.

4. Don’t upload group shots

Group shots are one of the most annoying photos you can upload to a dating app. Not only does the girl need to guess which one is you, she might actually be disappointed if you’re not the guy she’s most attracted to in that shot! Brutal.

5. Show off your body tastefully

If you have a good bod, then show it off. But listen, this isn’t a magazine cover. Don’t over do it. Maybe show it offer as you’re getting out of the pool or with a shirt covering up most of it. Just make it look like it wasn’t intended, this will drive women crazy.

Common questions answered

• Do dating apps work?

  For the best looking men, yes they do. The an average or even ugly guy, no they don't. We live in a fickle society, women are interested in hot guys, just like men are interested in the hottest girls.

• How many people use dating apps?

  It's been reported that that between 23 and 26 million people in the US are using some kind of dating or hookup app to meet other people for sex.

• How do dating apps make money?

  Mainly through ads or subscriptions. Tinder for example use a subscription service to give you access to their premium features, which give your profile more exposure.

• Why are dating apps bad?

  Well, because they distort your view of reality. You will pass on someone in an app, that you may otherwise like if you met them in person. Also, it's very easy to reject someone in an app, so you become desensitised to people's feelings.

Quick Warning About Dating Apps

Dating apps are easy to use and convenient, for some even addictive. But the scary side of dating online is that the girl (or even man) on the other side of the screen may not be who they say they are. Here’s how to tell if you’re being catfished.

Conclusion: Are these really the best apps to get laid?

To sum up, there are more than enough apps to keep you busy night after night. Heck you can even give up approaching women in person if you really wanted to, but we all know that’s bad for game.

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Each app has its ups, downs, and features that make it unique. But yes, these are the best apps to get laid for a reason. They’ve proven to be useful for guys all around the world.

With access to a huge number of girls at your fingertips, why go out and try to get lucky the hard way? Modern dating is all about getting straight to the point with apps. You simply log on, find a match, and bang.

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Warning: It’s been proven that using dating apps an hinder your success in the real world with women, so make sure you don’t use them exclusively. Sure, you can find easy girls to get laid with. But don’t settle for those girls if you want a long term relationship.

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So what are you waiting for? Go get laid dude. Read through our most popular guides, they are the best training for pua’s.